Oh, there have been some moments when I wanted to say something, but I didn't. I've gotten "the look" from so many strangers on a myriad of topics it's just not even funny. Well, ok, maybe a little funny. I usually bite my tongue (sometimes not), but on the van ride over to Mother's Day Out yesterday, I thought, "Hey, what if I had a t-shirt that said THAT?" Thus, today's top ten was born. May I present...
TOP TEN: T-SHIRTS I WISH I HAD
1. In public with the kids: No need to recount. Your math is correct. I have 5 kids.
2. While breastfeeding: Would you want to eat YOUR lunch in the bathroom?
3. While driving my minivan: Don't judge the minivan. It's functional. Someday I'll get my Mini Cooper.
4. Regarding Luke's petite stature: Oh, he's just small for his age because I feed him skim milk.
5. Regarding my Catholic faith: I'm not a freak, I'm just Catholic. And, no, I do not worship Mary.
6. At Mass: Don't look at me like that when my kid screams. Yours did it too.
7. On the state of our really neglected yard: I know it looks bad. Just wait 'til the fall. Then we'll be the Jones'.
8. Regarding the bags under my eyes: Yes I'm tired. I have a baby in the house.
9. During our next stay at Dell: If you are not one of the following specialists, you may not see my son: Gastroenterologist, Pediatric Surgeon, Hematologist, Cardiologist, Nephrologist, Neurosurgeon or General Pediatrician.
10. On adding to our family: I don't know if we're having another baby. Ask the man in charge. He works upstairs.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Time Out
I think by now everyone knows that crazy is part of our daily vocabulary around here. We're learning to embrace it. But, we're also learning not to add to it.
We made the not-so-difficult decision to avoid any after-school activities this spring. No baseball, no soccer, no dance, no nothing. We've always had the one-activity per child rule (a rule which has saved our sanity) but if all four kids that are activity-age are involved, that's four "somethings" throughout the week and a likely bonanza of nuts on Saturday morning.
Like the bumper sticker in the 80s, we just said "No." And I'm liking it. I mean, really. Are we going to de-rail the kids' chances of playing major league baseball or landing a spot on the high school varsity team? Are we going to make some lifelong memories the kids will never forget? You betcha.
We are deeming Saturdays as "family day" and have plans to do some fun family activities, just the seven of us. This past weekend we celebrated Will and my dad's birthdays with family. My Papa and his wife Betty even drove down for the celebration. It was awesome. (Thursday post on the birthday boys' party. Too many photos, not enough time today!) This weekend we'll be participating in a service project in honor of Holy Week.
Speaking of all things holy, this week is poised to be a reflective and beautiful time of year. Easter Sunday is grand, sure, but the building up to it is even better. Today, the Catholic Church hosts the Chrism Mass, where all the holy oils are blessed for use throughout the year (baptisms, confirmations and annointing of the sick). One of these days I'll get to attend, but for now I get to hear Scott's play-by-play tonight.
So, go make it your best Holy Week ever. It's never too late.
We made the not-so-difficult decision to avoid any after-school activities this spring. No baseball, no soccer, no dance, no nothing. We've always had the one-activity per child rule (a rule which has saved our sanity) but if all four kids that are activity-age are involved, that's four "somethings" throughout the week and a likely bonanza of nuts on Saturday morning.
Like the bumper sticker in the 80s, we just said "No." And I'm liking it. I mean, really. Are we going to de-rail the kids' chances of playing major league baseball or landing a spot on the high school varsity team? Are we going to make some lifelong memories the kids will never forget? You betcha.
We are deeming Saturdays as "family day" and have plans to do some fun family activities, just the seven of us. This past weekend we celebrated Will and my dad's birthdays with family. My Papa and his wife Betty even drove down for the celebration. It was awesome. (Thursday post on the birthday boys' party. Too many photos, not enough time today!) This weekend we'll be participating in a service project in honor of Holy Week.
Speaking of all things holy, this week is poised to be a reflective and beautiful time of year. Easter Sunday is grand, sure, but the building up to it is even better. Today, the Catholic Church hosts the Chrism Mass, where all the holy oils are blessed for use throughout the year (baptisms, confirmations and annointing of the sick). One of these days I'll get to attend, but for now I get to hear Scott's play-by-play tonight.
So, go make it your best Holy Week ever. It's never too late.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Birthday Boy
Nine years ago today, at exactly 4:56am, Scott and I became parents. And that's no small life change people. We went on a pilgrimage to Rome and came back with an Italian souvenir. I hope that's not a sharing violation...
My original due date was the Feast of St. Joseph, March 19, but Will decided to arrive eight days later. Stinker. I hadn't felt super great all day on the 26th, and by the time evening rolled around, I was feeling downright junky. Contractions had started but I was too naive enough to realize that the pain was labor. At 11pm, I'd had enough and we called the on-call OB.
In between bits of pain, I did a quick jump for joy when the voice on the other end of the line was our favorite OB, Dr. Teter. Father of 5 and a really funny man. We arrived at the hospital around midnight, to have my water break in triage which earned me a first-class L&D room. After two hours of pain, I begged for an epidural and got it...at 2cm. An hour later, I got the go ahead to start pushing. I distinctly remember Dr. T sauntering in the room, with a cup of coffee in hand. He quipped, "You're welcome for the epidural early." I countered, "You're welcome for progressing so quickly." A resident came in to check my progression, but because he was an Aggie and yet another Texan in the room, Dr. T kicked him out. "Too many Texans in one room," he said. Then, he shook his head in disbelief when we placed a cup of Texas soil beneath the bed. After all, Will had to be born on Texas soil even if we were living in Indiana.
Ok, that's definitely a sharing violation.
At 4:56, we heard, "It's a boy!" Then we cried. I could not believe I had just given birth. While Scott was snapping photos and documenting the event on the camcorder, Dr. T and I shared a sweet moment. One that I will never, ever forget. He got all serious on me (which he rarely did) and said how this moment in a delivery is why he loves being an OB. "This is what life is all about, Kathryn," he said as he glanced over at Will and then back at me. I blubbered something like, "Thanks for what you do, Dr. Teter." Grossly inadequate now that I think about it. I loved Dr. Teter - but that's another post for another day.
My original due date was the Feast of St. Joseph, March 19, but Will decided to arrive eight days later. Stinker. I hadn't felt super great all day on the 26th, and by the time evening rolled around, I was feeling downright junky. Contractions had started but I was too naive enough to realize that the pain was labor. At 11pm, I'd had enough and we called the on-call OB.
In between bits of pain, I did a quick jump for joy when the voice on the other end of the line was our favorite OB, Dr. Teter. Father of 5 and a really funny man. We arrived at the hospital around midnight, to have my water break in triage which earned me a first-class L&D room. After two hours of pain, I begged for an epidural and got it...at 2cm. An hour later, I got the go ahead to start pushing. I distinctly remember Dr. T sauntering in the room, with a cup of coffee in hand. He quipped, "You're welcome for the epidural early." I countered, "You're welcome for progressing so quickly." A resident came in to check my progression, but because he was an Aggie and yet another Texan in the room, Dr. T kicked him out. "Too many Texans in one room," he said. Then, he shook his head in disbelief when we placed a cup of Texas soil beneath the bed. After all, Will had to be born on Texas soil even if we were living in Indiana.
Ok, that's definitely a sharing violation.
At 4:56, we heard, "It's a boy!" Then we cried. I could not believe I had just given birth. While Scott was snapping photos and documenting the event on the camcorder, Dr. T and I shared a sweet moment. One that I will never, ever forget. He got all serious on me (which he rarely did) and said how this moment in a delivery is why he loves being an OB. "This is what life is all about, Kathryn," he said as he glanced over at Will and then back at me. I blubbered something like, "Thanks for what you do, Dr. Teter." Grossly inadequate now that I think about it. I loved Dr. Teter - but that's another post for another day.
A few minutes after 5am on March 27, 2001.
Will is our tangible evidence of unconditional love. He is smart and funny and definitely his father's son. Everybody loves Will. I love so many things about him that there is just not space or time to write them all down. He is the kid that broke us into parenthood and he will always be the "first" to do it all.
Hard to believe half his life has been lived in our house. In a flash, it passed us by. Will, you are an amazing little boy who's turning into a fine young man. I admire your sweet spirit and your tender heart. Those traits will serve you well in life. You are faithful - to our family, to your friends and to your God. May this year be full of many happy memories... Happy birthday buddy. We love you...lots.
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
Friday, March 26, 2010
QOTW: March 26, 2010
"Oh, Luke. Did you spit down?"
Anna-Laura asking Luke if he spit UP. Cute.
"Mom, if you have time to read your iPhone, how come you don't have time to read Harry Potter?"
Will, to me. Busted.
"It's weird. Today's my last day to be 8."
Will, this morning at breakfast.
"We just have to lean into it."
Scott, commenting on how we need to quit complaining about Luke's non-sleeping and eating and just roll with it. Lucky for him, he busted that quote out at 10pm, not 3am.
"He's 10lbs. 6oz.!"
The nurse at Luke's weight check this morning. Yippee!! I darn near cried.
It will most definitely be an awesome weekend here. Will and Papa Farnum both have birthdays tomorrow. And, the birthday boy (former) gets to celebrate with 20 other boys from school and the hood. I've got to post pics this weekend of what we have in store tonight. I'm quite sure if I was 9, this surprise would be heaven.
And, you'll get your reflection on how I feel about being a mom for nearly a decade tomorrow. Dang, I'm getting old. Although, I'm quite sure my 80+ year-old grandfather would disagree with me there :-)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have not: a) jumped off a cliff, b) checked myself into a mental hospital or c) persuaded a doc to give me some meds. Tuesday was just a bad day and I had to get it all out. I'm better. Promise.
Anna-Laura asking Luke if he spit UP. Cute.
"Mom, if you have time to read your iPhone, how come you don't have time to read Harry Potter?"
Will, to me. Busted.
"It's weird. Today's my last day to be 8."
Will, this morning at breakfast.
"We just have to lean into it."
Scott, commenting on how we need to quit complaining about Luke's non-sleeping and eating and just roll with it. Lucky for him, he busted that quote out at 10pm, not 3am.
"He's 10lbs. 6oz.!"
The nurse at Luke's weight check this morning. Yippee!! I darn near cried.
It will most definitely be an awesome weekend here. Will and Papa Farnum both have birthdays tomorrow. And, the birthday boy (former) gets to celebrate with 20 other boys from school and the hood. I've got to post pics this weekend of what we have in store tonight. I'm quite sure if I was 9, this surprise would be heaven.
And, you'll get your reflection on how I feel about being a mom for nearly a decade tomorrow. Dang, I'm getting old. Although, I'm quite sure my 80+ year-old grandfather would disagree with me there :-)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have not: a) jumped off a cliff, b) checked myself into a mental hospital or c) persuaded a doc to give me some meds. Tuesday was just a bad day and I had to get it all out. I'm better. Promise.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Before & After: Part V - The Girls' Room!
Oh my, this was fun. The girls' room was a completely blank slate when we moved into the house. After recarpeting the room and painting, it looked like a totally different room. Thank the good Lord. I don't do white walls.
We found an uuber cute chandelier at the Pottery Barn outlet that Scott cleaned up and installed, some fun bedspreads at Land of Nod, a piece of art painted by a dear high school friend and some girly knick knacks. Pink is definitely the color of choice (just ask my parents about my room color growing up :-)
What fun.
And, if you'll recall they have their own bathroom (awesome) and the biggest closet this side of Dallas. They will definitely appreciate the room choice when they're sweet 16. Girl power!
We found an uuber cute chandelier at the Pottery Barn outlet that Scott cleaned up and installed, some fun bedspreads at Land of Nod, a piece of art painted by a dear high school friend and some girly knick knacks. Pink is definitely the color of choice (just ask my parents about my room color growing up :-)
What fun.
Before (I know, my comment was "wake me when the boring is over")
After!!
And, if you'll recall they have their own bathroom (awesome) and the biggest closet this side of Dallas. They will definitely appreciate the room choice when they're sweet 16. Girl power!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Top Ten: Give Thanks
After yesterday's post, some sweet emails and a really great conversation with a friend, I felt like I should reflect on things in my life in which I'm thankful. Here goes my best attempt.
TOP TEN: GIVING THANKS FOR THE ORDINARY
1. I'm thankful for the permanently scratched brick in the shape of tic-tac-toe on the back of my house. It means my kids are participating in "creative play" outside.
2. I'm thankful for the green crayon on my walls in random places throughout my house. It means my kids may have a future in art.
3. I'm thankful for the nasty carpet in my master bathroom. It means I can spill anything on it and not feel the least bit guilty. Why? Because someday when all the medical bills are paid, I'm going to get my Candace Olson "Divine Design" bathroom. Just you wait.
4. I'm thankful for the boys' bathroom's ant problem. It means when the bug man came to spray today, I discovered an unflushed toilet - yet again - and got some free child labor when the boys came home from school.
5. I'm thankful for not eating out during Lent. It means that we are eating just about every random thing squirreled away in our pantry, whether it's expired or not. I mean an expiration date is merely a "suggestion", no?
6. I'm thankful that Luke is a peanut. It means that I have lots more time before people think he's old enough for me to have shed all this baby weight.
7. I'm thankful that the girls' bedroom door creaks. It means I can bust them in a blink of an eye when they try to sneak into the game room and play after lights out.
8. I'm thankful that the boys have early release tomorrow. It means that some leaves are going to get raked in the backyard...that is, if it doesn't rain.
9. I'm thankful that Anna-Laura is sassy. It means that I have some really funny pictures of her throwing fits on my iPhone.
10. And, I'm thankful that we have 5 pretty darn cute kids. It means that I love my husband...very much :-)
TOP TEN: GIVING THANKS FOR THE ORDINARY
1. I'm thankful for the permanently scratched brick in the shape of tic-tac-toe on the back of my house. It means my kids are participating in "creative play" outside.
2. I'm thankful for the green crayon on my walls in random places throughout my house. It means my kids may have a future in art.
3. I'm thankful for the nasty carpet in my master bathroom. It means I can spill anything on it and not feel the least bit guilty. Why? Because someday when all the medical bills are paid, I'm going to get my Candace Olson "Divine Design" bathroom. Just you wait.
4. I'm thankful for the boys' bathroom's ant problem. It means when the bug man came to spray today, I discovered an unflushed toilet - yet again - and got some free child labor when the boys came home from school.
5. I'm thankful for not eating out during Lent. It means that we are eating just about every random thing squirreled away in our pantry, whether it's expired or not. I mean an expiration date is merely a "suggestion", no?
6. I'm thankful that Luke is a peanut. It means that I have lots more time before people think he's old enough for me to have shed all this baby weight.
7. I'm thankful that the girls' bedroom door creaks. It means I can bust them in a blink of an eye when they try to sneak into the game room and play after lights out.
8. I'm thankful that the boys have early release tomorrow. It means that some leaves are going to get raked in the backyard...that is, if it doesn't rain.
9. I'm thankful that Anna-Laura is sassy. It means that I have some really funny pictures of her throwing fits on my iPhone.
10. And, I'm thankful that we have 5 pretty darn cute kids. It means that I love my husband...very much :-)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A reflection
Thank goodness I have this blog, otherwise I don't know where else I would write down all these random thoughts that swirl through my head.
Before I get started, yesterday's photo of John Paul needs a quick explanation. When he got home from school he was in everybody's business causing all sorts of trouble. I sent him to his room to read. This is what we found when we called him down for dinner. What a funny man.
On to son #3, Luke. Actually, this is more how Luke is affecting me. You know today I'm just not feeling like a good mom with all the answers. Luke hit his 6-month milestone last Thursday. No, I didn't forget, just didn't get the moment to post it on the blog. Today we had his well check and it went as I suspected. Mostly good, but there are some biggies that aren't so good. Luke is not gaining weight. In fact, he's at the same weight he was three weeks ago, 10lb. 3oz. Not good. Not good at all. So, while I laugh at the freezer full of pumped milk, I also cry. Because in addition to not gaining weight, he's not nursing well and he refuses to take a bottle. We are so sleep deprived it's not even funny and I can't get my son to gain weight. How's that for irony?
Today Lord, the cross is unbearably heavy.
Clare is fussy because, well just because.
Anna-Laura is sassy beyond help, I believe.
John Paul is trouble.
Will celebrates his 9th birthday this weekend.
And I feel like Scott and I will get a free minute together sometime in 2025.
I am tired in every way. And, in that same breath, I am happy in every way too. Luke is a blessing in our family and has allowed us to be beneficiaries of so much generosity that I am humbled. Scott is an amazing husband who somehow, magically, can get Luke back to sleep at 3am. Will is so responsible and caring and I love that kid to death. John Paul keeps us laughing. Anna-Laura, when she's not throwing a fit, is Luke's biggest admirer. And, Clare is a ray of sunshine when we most need it.
But the tears just started flowing at the pediatrician visit today. I've said it before, but it is worth repeating, Dr. Enders is the bomb. She spent 45 minutes with Luke and I today - and I know she had a roomful of patients waiting. I know that we will get through this. I know that Luke will start gaining weight. I know that today seems long, but Luke will be a year in a flash.
I know.
But today, TODAY, is hard. This moment, this hour is draining all I have left. I have shared my thoughts with God on His plan. Not a fan, God.
For me, one of the hardest things to hear is, "Oh, I'm so glad Luke is all better." If you've said that, please don't take offense or apologize. It's just that Luke isn't really ever going to be better. No surgery, no hospital stay, no medication, no specialist will make him like other kids. I think that's what I'm struggling with on this day. Your mind starts to fast forward life and then you feel overwhelmed and you want to go mutter to yourself in a dark corner. Not a good idea, folks.
As I was nursing Luke just a moment ago, I stumbled across a reflection from another mom about how she identified with Mary and asked for her intercession. And so I did. I found myself asking for some guidance, some solace, some direction. I figured a mom that holds her dying son in her arms knows a thing or two about carrying a cross.
On the bright side, the refrigerator that I though was void of Dr. Pepper still had one left (thank you God). The after-school crazy starts in 85 minutes, so I better stop feeling sorry for myself :-)
Before I get started, yesterday's photo of John Paul needs a quick explanation. When he got home from school he was in everybody's business causing all sorts of trouble. I sent him to his room to read. This is what we found when we called him down for dinner. What a funny man.
On to son #3, Luke. Actually, this is more how Luke is affecting me. You know today I'm just not feeling like a good mom with all the answers. Luke hit his 6-month milestone last Thursday. No, I didn't forget, just didn't get the moment to post it on the blog. Today we had his well check and it went as I suspected. Mostly good, but there are some biggies that aren't so good. Luke is not gaining weight. In fact, he's at the same weight he was three weeks ago, 10lb. 3oz. Not good. Not good at all. So, while I laugh at the freezer full of pumped milk, I also cry. Because in addition to not gaining weight, he's not nursing well and he refuses to take a bottle. We are so sleep deprived it's not even funny and I can't get my son to gain weight. How's that for irony?
Today Lord, the cross is unbearably heavy.
Clare is fussy because, well just because.
Anna-Laura is sassy beyond help, I believe.
John Paul is trouble.
Will celebrates his 9th birthday this weekend.
And I feel like Scott and I will get a free minute together sometime in 2025.
I am tired in every way. And, in that same breath, I am happy in every way too. Luke is a blessing in our family and has allowed us to be beneficiaries of so much generosity that I am humbled. Scott is an amazing husband who somehow, magically, can get Luke back to sleep at 3am. Will is so responsible and caring and I love that kid to death. John Paul keeps us laughing. Anna-Laura, when she's not throwing a fit, is Luke's biggest admirer. And, Clare is a ray of sunshine when we most need it.
But the tears just started flowing at the pediatrician visit today. I've said it before, but it is worth repeating, Dr. Enders is the bomb. She spent 45 minutes with Luke and I today - and I know she had a roomful of patients waiting. I know that we will get through this. I know that Luke will start gaining weight. I know that today seems long, but Luke will be a year in a flash.
I know.
But today, TODAY, is hard. This moment, this hour is draining all I have left. I have shared my thoughts with God on His plan. Not a fan, God.
For me, one of the hardest things to hear is, "Oh, I'm so glad Luke is all better." If you've said that, please don't take offense or apologize. It's just that Luke isn't really ever going to be better. No surgery, no hospital stay, no medication, no specialist will make him like other kids. I think that's what I'm struggling with on this day. Your mind starts to fast forward life and then you feel overwhelmed and you want to go mutter to yourself in a dark corner. Not a good idea, folks.
As I was nursing Luke just a moment ago, I stumbled across a reflection from another mom about how she identified with Mary and asked for her intercession. And so I did. I found myself asking for some guidance, some solace, some direction. I figured a mom that holds her dying son in her arms knows a thing or two about carrying a cross.
On the bright side, the refrigerator that I though was void of Dr. Pepper still had one left (thank you God). The after-school crazy starts in 85 minutes, so I better stop feeling sorry for myself :-)
Monday, March 22, 2010
AARRGG!
Tell me. Why do I bother?
BOTH Aggie teams busted my NCAA brackets. Well, so did Kansas, BUT I'M NOT A KU FAN. Dadgumit Aggies. For once, just once, could you just exceed my expectations?
Lots of love,
A very disgruntled Aggie grad
BOTH Aggie teams busted my NCAA brackets. Well, so did Kansas, BUT I'M NOT A KU FAN. Dadgumit Aggies. For once, just once, could you just exceed my expectations?
Lots of love,
A very disgruntled Aggie grad
Sunday, March 21, 2010
In case you were wondering...
You're probably not wondering, but I'm going to share anyway.
I cleaned out the freezer and took a quick inventory of all the stored breastmilk I have from all of Luke's NPO days, i.e. the days he couldn't eat. Here are four important numbers: 4, 40, 150 and 440.
4 gallons of milk pumped
40 days Luke didn't eat a single thing
150 oz. of milk I'll be donating to the Austin Milk Bank
440 pumping sessions
Wow. That's just nuts. Oh, and here's a photo of our freezer!
I cleaned out the freezer and took a quick inventory of all the stored breastmilk I have from all of Luke's NPO days, i.e. the days he couldn't eat. Here are four important numbers: 4, 40, 150 and 440.
4 gallons of milk pumped
40 days Luke didn't eat a single thing
150 oz. of milk I'll be donating to the Austin Milk Bank
440 pumping sessions
Wow. That's just nuts. Oh, and here's a photo of our freezer!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
We're Home...Again.
Boy, sometimes it just feels like the movie Groundhog Day around here.
Luke is home, safe and sound, along with his breathing treatments, antibiotics, bulb syringe, humidifier and crazy tired momma. HUGE hat tip to Nana and Papa who took all four of the kids tonight so Scott, Luke and I could have a much-needed break. The house is so stinkin' quiet. It's kinda freaking me out.
I have so much to share that I don't even know where to start.
This I know. Yes, Dell is a beautiful facility with awesome doctors and nurses. It is state-of-the-art. It is family-friendly. The food isn't half bad. And the green spaces are aplenty.
But I hate that place.
Everytime I walk in, I have to will myself to walk across the threshold. For me, it just brings back so many scary, uncertain memories. Don't get me wrong, I don't know anybody that bounds into a hospital, all giggles and smiles, and belts out a "we're back!" For us (read: me) it's like reopening the wound of nearly losing Luke all over again. That's a hard reality to face. That feeling clearly needs some counseling to process, am I right?
Then, there's the letter that I want to hand to every clinical assistant, nurse, resident, attending and surgeon. It basically says, don't yank my chain. I'm not a rookie hospital mom. We know the drill. Don't come knocking at 4am to check vitals on my sleeping baby when all is clearly well. I will tell you to go away. And mean it. Don't try to explain the difference between a viral and bacterial infection and which one needs antibiotics. I already know. I can work the scale to weigh the diapers. I know the lingo. Don't say things like, "You might be discharged tomorrow" unless you really believe it. Oh, and please read Luke's chart. I don't have the energy to repeat it to you because you're too busy to read it. I realize you need a cup of coffee to get through it all, but trust me. Read it.
Ok, now that I got that off my chest I can proceed.
I find myself all freaky when we walk into the hospital. Then there's the moment, in the dark room, when Luke is either asleep or nursing, that I cry. Hey, all that worry has to go somewhere. And, the tears are accompanied by a, "Lord, are you freakin kidding me?" Which is then followed by a, "Give me strength, because I sure as heck can't do this again without a life preserver." The tears dry up, I dig out my big girl panties and we finish our stay at the hospital. Repeat this process x 4.
This 26-hour stay was markedly different than the rest in that Luke could eat...however, he wasn't super great at it because he couldn't breathe. Oh, yeah, and then he threw up the entire feeding last night. That nearly put me into outer orbit. Thankfully, the nurse could totally sense my teetering on the edge and explained that it's normal. Even if it wasn't, I'm super glad she sang that tune. That was really our only scary moment with Luke. I had to stand up to a respiratory therapist at 1am (yeah, that was fun) and chase off a clinical assistant at 4am (even more fun), but all in all, pretty uneventful.
We saw lots of familiar faces - in places where people should NOT be recognizing you...gift shop, admissions, elevator waiting area, security guards. You know, the usual. They all say the same thing, "Luke, what are you doing back?" And you know what he does? He just smiles all goofy like and makes me answer. This kid.
Raise a nebulizer to Luke's latest stay. No matter what hardware you come home with, buddy, we love you all the way down to your toes. You're one tough cookie.
Luke is home, safe and sound, along with his breathing treatments, antibiotics, bulb syringe, humidifier and crazy tired momma. HUGE hat tip to Nana and Papa who took all four of the kids tonight so Scott, Luke and I could have a much-needed break. The house is so stinkin' quiet. It's kinda freaking me out.
I have so much to share that I don't even know where to start.
This I know. Yes, Dell is a beautiful facility with awesome doctors and nurses. It is state-of-the-art. It is family-friendly. The food isn't half bad. And the green spaces are aplenty.
But I hate that place.
Everytime I walk in, I have to will myself to walk across the threshold. For me, it just brings back so many scary, uncertain memories. Don't get me wrong, I don't know anybody that bounds into a hospital, all giggles and smiles, and belts out a "we're back!" For us (read: me) it's like reopening the wound of nearly losing Luke all over again. That's a hard reality to face. That feeling clearly needs some counseling to process, am I right?
Then, there's the letter that I want to hand to every clinical assistant, nurse, resident, attending and surgeon. It basically says, don't yank my chain. I'm not a rookie hospital mom. We know the drill. Don't come knocking at 4am to check vitals on my sleeping baby when all is clearly well. I will tell you to go away. And mean it. Don't try to explain the difference between a viral and bacterial infection and which one needs antibiotics. I already know. I can work the scale to weigh the diapers. I know the lingo. Don't say things like, "You might be discharged tomorrow" unless you really believe it. Oh, and please read Luke's chart. I don't have the energy to repeat it to you because you're too busy to read it. I realize you need a cup of coffee to get through it all, but trust me. Read it.
Ok, now that I got that off my chest I can proceed.
I find myself all freaky when we walk into the hospital. Then there's the moment, in the dark room, when Luke is either asleep or nursing, that I cry. Hey, all that worry has to go somewhere. And, the tears are accompanied by a, "Lord, are you freakin kidding me?" Which is then followed by a, "Give me strength, because I sure as heck can't do this again without a life preserver." The tears dry up, I dig out my big girl panties and we finish our stay at the hospital. Repeat this process x 4.
This 26-hour stay was markedly different than the rest in that Luke could eat...however, he wasn't super great at it because he couldn't breathe. Oh, yeah, and then he threw up the entire feeding last night. That nearly put me into outer orbit. Thankfully, the nurse could totally sense my teetering on the edge and explained that it's normal. Even if it wasn't, I'm super glad she sang that tune. That was really our only scary moment with Luke. I had to stand up to a respiratory therapist at 1am (yeah, that was fun) and chase off a clinical assistant at 4am (even more fun), but all in all, pretty uneventful.
We saw lots of familiar faces - in places where people should NOT be recognizing you...gift shop, admissions, elevator waiting area, security guards. You know, the usual. They all say the same thing, "Luke, what are you doing back?" And you know what he does? He just smiles all goofy like and makes me answer. This kid.
Raise a nebulizer to Luke's latest stay. No matter what hardware you come home with, buddy, we love you all the way down to your toes. You're one tough cookie.
Monday, March 15, 2010
DCMC: This time it's not what you think
Well, gang it seems as Luke found himself back in the hospital. As you read on Sunday, we have been battling a wave of junk in this house for the past couple of weeks. Clare and ALG seem to be recovering and Will got a little bug but has handled it well.
For Luke, the hits just keep on coming. We went to the doctor last Friday and started the antibiotics for the ear infection. This was a big deal because it meant we had to stop the bowel antibiotics. Um, this isn't going to be fun. He wasn't better on Sunday and off the doctor on Monday. His O2 levels weren't good and he received a breathing treatment in the office. He was sent to Dell immediately afterward. Tests for pertusis were performed, more breathing treatments and a high dose of antibiotics are on the way.
Please pray for K and Luke as they stay at the home away from home one more night. If his O2 levels maintain then he can come home but we have been there before and know better. Count on at least a couple days.
It is hard to explain the incredible frustration we have right now. Luke is doing great but all these little set backs are hard to deal with and hard on mom and dad. Our heart is saddened each time he has to return to the hospital. Everyone keeps saying just wait until he turn one all will be better. I'm just trying to get through today....
For Luke, the hits just keep on coming. We went to the doctor last Friday and started the antibiotics for the ear infection. This was a big deal because it meant we had to stop the bowel antibiotics. Um, this isn't going to be fun. He wasn't better on Sunday and off the doctor on Monday. His O2 levels weren't good and he received a breathing treatment in the office. He was sent to Dell immediately afterward. Tests for pertusis were performed, more breathing treatments and a high dose of antibiotics are on the way.
Please pray for K and Luke as they stay at the home away from home one more night. If his O2 levels maintain then he can come home but we have been there before and know better. Count on at least a couple days.
It is hard to explain the incredible frustration we have right now. Luke is doing great but all these little set backs are hard to deal with and hard on mom and dad. Our heart is saddened each time he has to return to the hospital. Everyone keeps saying just wait until he turn one all will be better. I'm just trying to get through today....
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Spring Break!
Boy howdy. After you read the next paragraph, you'll know why you haven't heard from me for five days...
Last Tuesday Clare got a fever, congestion, runny nose and a hacky cough, which she then ever-so-politely "shared" with Luke who came down with the same symptoms on Wednesday. Our pedi is off on Thursday, so Friday morning I hauled them both to the doctor. Verdict? Nasty, icky viral infection for Clare (we're now on day 6 of fevers) and the same virus for Luke + a sweet, raging ear infection. Double awesome. The fun part is that we had to take him off his belly antibiotics and put him on ear antibiotics for the next 10 days. Then, we'll resume the belly meds.
When I pledged to pray more this Lenten season, this is not what I had in mind. Oh, God, He's a funny man. Scott and I are at least making good on our promise to sleep less during Lent :-)
I am quite thankful it's spring break. As much as the kids love school and I love the daytime break, it will be a welcome relief not to have to scurry to get breakfast on the table, lunches made, folders signed, clothes washed and dinner cooked in such an orderly fashion. Shoot, I just might let them eat cookies for breakfast...
The boys are headed to Golf Camp this week and will be spending some time with Nana and Papa while the girls, Luke and I just chill. And, we plan to spend a family day doing something memorable come Friday. I haven't the slightest idea what, but it will be fun.
Check back in tomorrow and we'll chat. It's been a while. Oh, blogosphere, I missed you!
Last Tuesday Clare got a fever, congestion, runny nose and a hacky cough, which she then ever-so-politely "shared" with Luke who came down with the same symptoms on Wednesday. Our pedi is off on Thursday, so Friday morning I hauled them both to the doctor. Verdict? Nasty, icky viral infection for Clare (we're now on day 6 of fevers) and the same virus for Luke + a sweet, raging ear infection. Double awesome. The fun part is that we had to take him off his belly antibiotics and put him on ear antibiotics for the next 10 days. Then, we'll resume the belly meds.
When I pledged to pray more this Lenten season, this is not what I had in mind. Oh, God, He's a funny man. Scott and I are at least making good on our promise to sleep less during Lent :-)
I am quite thankful it's spring break. As much as the kids love school and I love the daytime break, it will be a welcome relief not to have to scurry to get breakfast on the table, lunches made, folders signed, clothes washed and dinner cooked in such an orderly fashion. Shoot, I just might let them eat cookies for breakfast...
The boys are headed to Golf Camp this week and will be spending some time with Nana and Papa while the girls, Luke and I just chill. And, we plan to spend a family day doing something memorable come Friday. I haven't the slightest idea what, but it will be fun.
Check back in tomorrow and we'll chat. It's been a while. Oh, blogosphere, I missed you!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
How's Luke?
Now THAT is a loaded question. But one that I get at least 5 times a day.
Short answer? Ok.
Long answer? Keep reading.
After our six-day stay at Dell it seems as if Luke has one of two things going on with his bowel. He either:
1) has bacteria lingering in his bowel, just above his colon that are causing havoc and backing up his system as food comes in, thus causing him to spit up more than normal, poop less than normal and distending his belly...or
2) has a spastic portion of his colon that works when it wants to that will have to be surgically removed.
Clearly, we're hoping for door #1.
Here's the sticky part. He's on antibiotics to fight the proposed bacteria, but we won't know if they work for another week. We meet with the gastroenterologist (yes, the new specialist we gained this visit) tomorrow and the surgeon on Thursday. Stay tuned.
In other news, Clare is sick (again), this time with a fever. And, Scott and I are tired in every way possible. I just thought I knew sleep deprived. Ha.
Enough self-pity. Tomorrow we'll hit it again, hopefully with a renewed spirit. I know that isn't much of a reflection, but it's all I have to offer today. I'm going to take tomorrow off - I have a top ten list of to-do's if that counts - and rejoin the blogosphere come Thursday.
Short answer? Ok.
Long answer? Keep reading.
After our six-day stay at Dell it seems as if Luke has one of two things going on with his bowel. He either:
1) has bacteria lingering in his bowel, just above his colon that are causing havoc and backing up his system as food comes in, thus causing him to spit up more than normal, poop less than normal and distending his belly...or
2) has a spastic portion of his colon that works when it wants to that will have to be surgically removed.
Clearly, we're hoping for door #1.
Here's the sticky part. He's on antibiotics to fight the proposed bacteria, but we won't know if they work for another week. We meet with the gastroenterologist (yes, the new specialist we gained this visit) tomorrow and the surgeon on Thursday. Stay tuned.
In other news, Clare is sick (again), this time with a fever. And, Scott and I are tired in every way possible. I just thought I knew sleep deprived. Ha.
Enough self-pity. Tomorrow we'll hit it again, hopefully with a renewed spirit. I know that isn't much of a reflection, but it's all I have to offer today. I'm going to take tomorrow off - I have a top ten list of to-do's if that counts - and rejoin the blogosphere come Thursday.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Big Day
Today is a big day for Scott. His new boss "officially" starts. Bishop Joe Vasquez, fifth bishop of the Diocese of Austin, will begin his tenure at 3pm today.
Little anxious. Little excited.
I pray that the bishop is as supportive of Scott's efforts in stewardship and development as Bishop Aymond. Oh, and if you're wondering...no, I'm not attending the installation Mass. There's an important reason that I'll make a blog post about someday :-)
It's funny, because before Scott worked for the church we had a totally different idea of how "the beast" operated. Then Scott became an employee. He's been a "church worker" for nearly a decade and there's one valuable lesson we've come to appreciate. In fact, Will's Godfather - a priest in the Diocese of Lafayette in Indiana - reminded us of that lesson. He told Scott not to let the underbelly of the church destroy our faith.
That's the best professional advice we've ever gotten.
Tomorrow your Luke update will be on tap. Promise. I'm still digging out from the piles and making follow-up doctor visits!
Little anxious. Little excited.
I pray that the bishop is as supportive of Scott's efforts in stewardship and development as Bishop Aymond. Oh, and if you're wondering...no, I'm not attending the installation Mass. There's an important reason that I'll make a blog post about someday :-)
It's funny, because before Scott worked for the church we had a totally different idea of how "the beast" operated. Then Scott became an employee. He's been a "church worker" for nearly a decade and there's one valuable lesson we've come to appreciate. In fact, Will's Godfather - a priest in the Diocese of Lafayette in Indiana - reminded us of that lesson. He told Scott not to let the underbelly of the church destroy our faith.
That's the best professional advice we've ever gotten.
Tomorrow your Luke update will be on tap. Promise. I'm still digging out from the piles and making follow-up doctor visits!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
We're Home!!
Yes, indeed. All of the Whitaker clan can now officially claim the same zip code as "home." As you can imagine, we have piles and piles of mail and unpacking to do. As I type a baby is crying my name and so is that comfortable bed.
You'll get the full, unabridged version of our week sometime on Monday or Tuesday. What a whirlwind of emotions.
As always, your knee time did our hearts some good. God bless you, dear friends.
You'll get the full, unabridged version of our week sometime on Monday or Tuesday. What a whirlwind of emotions.
As always, your knee time did our hearts some good. God bless you, dear friends.
Friday, March 5, 2010
DCMC: Bowel Mystery, Day 5, March 5, 2010
Friday was a pretty uneventful day for Luke. Today was mostly about watching him eat and poop. I guess that will be me when the kids are watching me at 85!
For the three of you that read this blog, you know we ruled out one surgery on Thursday. Hirschsprung's is off the table as the biopsy was negative. That was definitely good news. Luke started pedialyte and alternated with nursing and finished off the day nursing only. K said he did pretty well all day and even had a few poopy diapers. We have come to the conclusion that he is night pooper...not good for us but hey, we will take it.
Well, since we haven't visited every pediatric specialist yet we thought we would add one more...the GI doc. Meet Dr. Sanders. It seems as though the course of action for us will be to keep giving the antibiotics to destroy any remaining pockets of bacteria in his colon and small intestine.
While his belly is still distended it is soft and so if he had a good night and tolerates nursing we should be a family again on Saturday. Thanks again to all for your prayers and your support. It means so much. K will be your narrator again soon.
For the three of you that read this blog, you know we ruled out one surgery on Thursday. Hirschsprung's is off the table as the biopsy was negative. That was definitely good news. Luke started pedialyte and alternated with nursing and finished off the day nursing only. K said he did pretty well all day and even had a few poopy diapers. We have come to the conclusion that he is night pooper...not good for us but hey, we will take it.
Well, since we haven't visited every pediatric specialist yet we thought we would add one more...the GI doc. Meet Dr. Sanders. It seems as though the course of action for us will be to keep giving the antibiotics to destroy any remaining pockets of bacteria in his colon and small intestine.
While his belly is still distended it is soft and so if he had a good night and tolerates nursing we should be a family again on Saturday. Thanks again to all for your prayers and your support. It means so much. K will be your narrator again soon.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
DCMC: Bowel Mystery, Day 3, March 3, 2010
Today was one of those weird days where it feels like the day didn't really happen or you wonder where the day went. It started at 3 am when I got a text from K. She said Luke wouldn't go back to sleep and the doc forgot to place the order for the Pedialyte he can have every three hours. One said doc got in trouble because the nurse woke up the on call surgeon...kinda like the nurses waking up Dr. Green on ER...but I digress. He finally went back to sleep at 5 am.
I got up this morning and got the boys off to school. Came back to let the new front door installer in the house. Yes, this is one of those lingering projects from the hail storm......last year. Luke has been keeping us busy! Left home and went to St. Dominic Savio Catholic High School for a Catholic Schools meeting.
Luke had his rectal biopsy this morning around 10:30. We will get the results in the morning. What for you ask...possibly Hirschsprung's disease. After the procedure, he passed a bloody stool. I was not there for this nor was I there when he passed his first one when he was 9 days old. But Kathryn was and she tells me the memories came rushing back again today when she saw it. Thank goodness it was a result of the biopsy but it was a scary moment.
He is still on his antibiotics course to get rid of any bacterial pockets that are lingering in the intestine. It's quite interesting actually. They hope to rid the body of all the good and bad bacteria and then will add back the good bacteria. For those of you that are health conscious, you know the value of a good yogurt in the morning. This is basically what they will be doing to Luke, except the yogurt part.
I was able to go to the hospital after work today and I stayed with Luke while K got out for some much needed outside air. She went home and put all the kids in bed and took a shower. It was a joy to be around Luke and just spend some alone time with him. Heck, he even enjoyed watching the Aggies on TV during the first half.
He did pretty well the whole day. He is hungry and the pedialyte just doesn't cut it. His belly is still distended somewhat. The surgeons think right now it might one of three things - Hirschsprung's, bacteria or another part of his bowel is not functioning properly. Basically, two of the three involve surgery. Personally, I will take door number 2 - the bacteria....
However, as a good friend reminded the other day, be careful what you pray for.
Tonight I pray that we may be open to God's will and the grace to accept whatever he brings our way. Sometimes I wonder if the cross is getting too heavy to carry but I know God will always send me a Simon to lift it it up. Thanks for all the Simons out there lifting us up in prayer. Until tomorrow, keep the prayers coming.......Granny needs 'em while she holds down the fort!
I got up this morning and got the boys off to school. Came back to let the new front door installer in the house. Yes, this is one of those lingering projects from the hail storm......last year. Luke has been keeping us busy! Left home and went to St. Dominic Savio Catholic High School for a Catholic Schools meeting.
Luke had his rectal biopsy this morning around 10:30. We will get the results in the morning. What for you ask...possibly Hirschsprung's disease. After the procedure, he passed a bloody stool. I was not there for this nor was I there when he passed his first one when he was 9 days old. But Kathryn was and she tells me the memories came rushing back again today when she saw it. Thank goodness it was a result of the biopsy but it was a scary moment.
He is still on his antibiotics course to get rid of any bacterial pockets that are lingering in the intestine. It's quite interesting actually. They hope to rid the body of all the good and bad bacteria and then will add back the good bacteria. For those of you that are health conscious, you know the value of a good yogurt in the morning. This is basically what they will be doing to Luke, except the yogurt part.
I was able to go to the hospital after work today and I stayed with Luke while K got out for some much needed outside air. She went home and put all the kids in bed and took a shower. It was a joy to be around Luke and just spend some alone time with him. Heck, he even enjoyed watching the Aggies on TV during the first half.
He did pretty well the whole day. He is hungry and the pedialyte just doesn't cut it. His belly is still distended somewhat. The surgeons think right now it might one of three things - Hirschsprung's, bacteria or another part of his bowel is not functioning properly. Basically, two of the three involve surgery. Personally, I will take door number 2 - the bacteria....
However, as a good friend reminded the other day, be careful what you pray for.
Tonight I pray that we may be open to God's will and the grace to accept whatever he brings our way. Sometimes I wonder if the cross is getting too heavy to carry but I know God will always send me a Simon to lift it it up. Thanks for all the Simons out there lifting us up in prayer. Until tomorrow, keep the prayers coming.......Granny needs 'em while she holds down the fort!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
DCMC: Bowel Mystery, Day 2, March 2, 2010
Here we sit, waiting on answers.
I guess it's an appropriate time for Luke to be sick as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of Christ as we approach Easter.
While beautifully written, that is not how I felt most of today. Hey, just being honest. But, in the quiet of the playroom tonight, I am thankful. I'll make my post brief. I'm sure Scott will have more to add.
Luke had a busy day full of xrays, contrast studies, decompression of his belly and blood/stool cultures. It appears there is no stricture in the bowel, so now we're on to options 1, 2 and 3. For today, there's no surgery, but tomorrow will give us a better picture.
I just ask you to pray for clarity and answers as we head into tomorrow's test results and doctor consults.
I guess it's an appropriate time for Luke to be sick as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of Christ as we approach Easter.
While beautifully written, that is not how I felt most of today. Hey, just being honest. But, in the quiet of the playroom tonight, I am thankful. I'll make my post brief. I'm sure Scott will have more to add.
Luke had a busy day full of xrays, contrast studies, decompression of his belly and blood/stool cultures. It appears there is no stricture in the bowel, so now we're on to options 1, 2 and 3. For today, there's no surgery, but tomorrow will give us a better picture.
I just ask you to pray for clarity and answers as we head into tomorrow's test results and doctor consults.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Once More With Feeling...
Today was a difficult day. For over a week we have been patiently watching Luke. Like a new parent watches every move and sound their newborn makes, that was us this last week.
We knew in our heart something was wrong with Luke again but, I have to admit, was very diffcult to admit. Luke is back at Dell Children's Medical Center in Austin. His little belly is still distended. We know he is not well. Boy is it hard....
So we watch and wait. Our great surgeon Dr. M was on call and we can't tell you how much peace it brings to see him walk in the door. We are blessed with great doctors in Austin.
Luke has an IV for fluids and he is NPO yet again. We will rest his bowels and will do some small procedures to try and release some of his gas. Tomorrow is more x-rays and most likely another contrast study.
It is Lent around these parts and I find it very difficult to focus on preparing for our Lord. I know this sounds bad but I got mad at God again today. A dear priest friend always told Kathryn and I it is okay to get mad at God, he can take it. Well today is one of those days. Please pray for Luke and our family. We need 'em.
Kathryn should be back in the saddle again soon...until then you have to put up with me.
We knew in our heart something was wrong with Luke again but, I have to admit, was very diffcult to admit. Luke is back at Dell Children's Medical Center in Austin. His little belly is still distended. We know he is not well. Boy is it hard....
So we watch and wait. Our great surgeon Dr. M was on call and we can't tell you how much peace it brings to see him walk in the door. We are blessed with great doctors in Austin.
Luke has an IV for fluids and he is NPO yet again. We will rest his bowels and will do some small procedures to try and release some of his gas. Tomorrow is more x-rays and most likely another contrast study.
It is Lent around these parts and I find it very difficult to focus on preparing for our Lord. I know this sounds bad but I got mad at God again today. A dear priest friend always told Kathryn and I it is okay to get mad at God, he can take it. Well today is one of those days. Please pray for Luke and our family. We need 'em.
Kathryn should be back in the saddle again soon...until then you have to put up with me.
Luke Update 3.1.10
Well, Dell Children's is the last place I had hoped to be tonight...but here Luke and I sit in the children's playroom in 3 North.
Sigh.
Scott will post a more detailed synopsis tonight, but I just come typing, asking for your prayers. We don't really know what's going on with Master Luke which makes being here especially hard. It's difficult to put into words how much we have a love/hate relationship with this amazing hospital.
St. Luke, patron saint of physicians and surgeons, intercede for our precious Luke. Heal his body and guide the minds of his doctors and nurses. And, an extra prayer for Mom and Dad would be great, too :-)
Until tomorrow....
Sigh.
Scott will post a more detailed synopsis tonight, but I just come typing, asking for your prayers. We don't really know what's going on with Master Luke which makes being here especially hard. It's difficult to put into words how much we have a love/hate relationship with this amazing hospital.
St. Luke, patron saint of physicians and surgeons, intercede for our precious Luke. Heal his body and guide the minds of his doctors and nurses. And, an extra prayer for Mom and Dad would be great, too :-)
Until tomorrow....
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