Happy 3rd Birthday Clare Bear!

Oh my sweet, lovable, funny, easygoing, ray of sunshine Clare Bear...how did you get so big, so fast?  There are really so many things to love about you.  How do I count the ways?

You giggle at lots of things.  You are easily amused.  Easily entertained.  You yell out "no" louder than anybody I've ever known.  You love on Luke so sweetly.  Play with ALG so nicely.  Get in trouble with John Paul so easily.  And look up to Will so often.

Our life would not be complete without you.

We love you Clare Bear :)

We are fam-a-lee!!

Ok, it will definitely be light posting because......................

IT'S THE FARNUM FAMILY REUNION THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So stoked.  Seeing cousins and relatives I haven't seen since I was 10 - TEN!  Rest assured there will be many quotes, many photos and lots of fun stories next week.  Make it a great weekend.  Ours started last night :)

Top Ten: More, More please!

Quick update:  At 7:45am on Thursday morning, Anna-Laura goes under the knife.  I know it's a minor procedure in "medical world" but in mom world it's major.  Offer up those prayers.  Scott and I will update folks via FB and Twitter come Thursday morning.

It's been a while since I had a good top ten.  I've left you hanging and for that I apologize.  Thought it might be fun to shake it up a little and give you my...

TOP TEN:  THINGS I WANT MORE OF...

1.  Bubble baths.  Our tub only fills about a 1/3 of the way full of hot water, then it goes yowza cold.  I've gotta get that fixed.

2.  Green grass.  We saved and saved and just put down sod because our yard just got whipped by the heat last summer.  Now, take all patch has - ahem - taken over and Scott and I are none too pleased.

3.  Sleep.  See yesterday's post :)  I figure it will happen sometime around 2025.

4.  Aggie wins.  Any sport.  Really.  Just something to hang my hat on this fall.

5.  Cool fronts.  And by that, I mean less than 90 degrees at 9 o'clock at night.

6.  Time with friends.  I feel like we've been in a bubble for too dadgum long.  I miss having people over.  I miss the conversations.  I miss normal.

7.  Time at the pool.  ALG gets her staples out on Thursday and then we can finally head back to the pool.  Hip, hip, hooray!!

8.  Time with my husband.  Thankfully, a pretty amazing aunt it taking over kid duty (the older four) and Scott, Luke and I are busting out of this joint for a 36-hour vacay.  Woo Hoo!

9.  Lemon lime Italian soda from HEB.  It's on backorder and I'm slightly perturbed.  It just screams summer.

10.  Walks with the fam.  We haven't done these in a while (probably because it's so stinkin' Africa hot outside) and I miss them.

Luke Update 6.22.10

While I didn't forget the big NINE month milestone last Friday, it's been a rough week.  Who am I kidding, it's been a rough nine months :)

Before I get too far, I should celebrate the big milestones we've had this month.  Luke can now sit, unassisted.  Holy smokes!!  He's rolling one way, belly to back.  Clapping.  Saying 'da-da' (they get all the credit).  Playing unassisted for a good hour or more.  Reaching for toys and pushing himself back up to sitting.  And I think we might've hit the 13 lb mark.  Socially and cognitively, he scores right on track, at 9 months.  Gross motor, he's at the 6 month mark.  ECI has been coming out every other week and we're seeing some slow progress.  For all that, I am thankful beyond words.

Now for why we've been off the grid.  I won't bore you with all the details, but most of the lack of patience, lack of energy and lack of doing much else stems from the fact that Luke is not sleeping.  Now, pre-Luke when I used to say that, what it really meant was...

a) his morning or afternoon nap wasn't as long as it usually is
b) he didn't take a morning or afternoon nap
c) he woke up at 6am instead of 7am
d) he woke up in the middle of the night and I had to nurse him back to sleep - 30 minutes tops

Strike up the pity party band, right?!?

Today it means he's really NOT sleeping.  We had him on a pretty good schedule prior to his spine surgery.  Then, the hospital totally jacked with that slice of heaven and when we got home, we decided to go cold turkey, break all our bad habits and get him sleeping in his crib.  It was hell for 10 days.  But, we were on a good track and then came the ear infection.  That was hours and hours and HOURS of screaming.  Usually from 10pm until 3 or 4am everyday.  With no naps during the day.  Sigh.  Then we got that remedied, sort of and then it came back.  Then came the belly pain and more antibiotics.  And so it's been for the past month, the hours of screaming.  We get him to sleep, lay him down in the crib and the instant his head hits the sheet, he's all screams.

I'm not asking for advice.  Luke is complicated.  I just need a place to vent and document just how bad it really is.  Experience has taught me that when I look back on this, I'll say, "Oh it wasn't really that bad."  But today it is.

Trust me, we have tried all the tricks.  We've thought of all the scenarios:  ears, belly pain, separation anxiety, developmental milestones, stubborn ass, you name it.  Yes, it's a phase and it will pass.  But, with Luke there is an element of worry that I never had with the other children. There are the questions...

Is he really just wanting to be held, or does he hurt?
Is his belly distended?  Did it look like that yesterday or are my eyes playing tricks on me?
If I let him cry for a half hour, how many calories is he burning that he just gained?

And so, so, so many more.

By nature, I'm a mild worrier.  I freak out sometimes.  I take things for what their worth and then sometimes blow them completely out of proportion.  Sometimes I'm calm.  Sometimes I'm rational.  Somedays it's just hard to know how to balance on the line of "worry worth calling the doctor" and "normal kiddo behavior." 

A couple of nights ago, I made the mistake of googling NEC.  Bad, bad idea.  You see, finding another mom who's had a baby survive surgical NEC is practically impossible.  It's like finding a needle in the haystack.  Right now, it's hard to decipher it all.  It's hard to set aside the worry and trust in a greater plan. 

A sweet friend of mine told me something yesterday and it's really given me pause to think and reflect.  She has a son with special needs.  They adopted him when he was two.  That boy has endured several brain surgeries (major ones), lots of scares, ER visits, specialists and the like.  For what it's worth, I think Angela is a saint...and a very wise mom.  Her miracle boy is also a stubborn one.  In her wisdom, she listened to me vent and then she said this:  "Luke has endured so much and has been such a fighter.  He may just be fighting you on this because that's his nature."

In all these years we've known one another, not only did that perspective give me eyes to see my own son in a different way, but it gave me eyes to see all other children with special needs through a different lens.  Sometimes we're quick to judge, aren't we?  The life story we all carry around has a lot of chapters.  Shame on us if all we do is read the cover.

Our Dad is the Bomb

Yes, indeed, Scott is the bomb around here.  Our kids love him (and so do I) to the moon and back.  We had an enjoyable day on Sunday.  My parents and the aunt, uncle and cute niece came to celebrate over a spectacular lunch.  Then, Scott and the two boys enjoyed a rockin' Round Rock Express baseball game in the box!!  They even got to run the bases after the game.  The boys are still talking about the fun they had.  In fact, John Paul said to Scott when they got home, "Dad, I hope you had fun today."

Still can't believe my brother is a dad, Scott and I have five kids and my dad is still tied around my pinky :)  Watch out Daniel and Scott - girls are dangerous.

To all the sweet fathers in my family - we love you!

Cancel the APB

We're still here, just been an all-around rough week.  If you don't here from me by Wednesday, send out the sniffing dogs...

Happy, Happy Birthday to Aunt Jennifer!

Happy Birthday to our fantabulously funny Aunt Jefiner (as John Paul loves to say!)  We hope you have a great day.  Friday birthdays really are the best...you get to celebrate all weekend.  Here's to celebrating your 29th birthday :)  We love you!!

Last November (the photo below was taken then), Jennifer came down from Dallas to help me with the kids after Luke came home from the NICU.  For the first time in a really, really long time we had a chance to visit about kids, husbands, life and stuff.  It was a week that I appreciated more than you know, Jennifer.  I think you are incredibly witty, amazingly patient and a spectacular mom to Alex (the cutest nephew in the world, by the way).  That week allowed me to see you as a mom and wife and I admire you greatly.  Alex and Cory hit the jackpot with you.  I hope they treat you right this weekend.  You deserve it, birthday girl :)

You get a two-fer Friday - next post up after lunch!

To Helmet or not...

Evidently, the insurance company at first glance doesn't believe our sweet Luke is a candidate for a cranial remolding orthosis (CRO), i.e. helmet.  However, his neurosurgeon, the plagiocephaly clinic, the orthotist and his pediatrician all disagree.

Oh, and so do I :)

In what felt like preparing for a court case, I've spent the better part of the last week collecting medical records, making phone calls, personally visiting each of those aforementioned specialists and chatting with our insurance case manager to get this helmet thingamajiggy covered by insurance.  If they don't cover it, Scott and I are going to have to resurrect our now-defunct money tree in the backyard and find a way to pay for it!

As a good friend with three special needs children recently reminded me, "If he's meant to be in one, it will all work out."  So, we gave it our best shot and now we wait for the verdict.  We should know an answer that last week of June.

I've been a little absent from blogging just because we've been enjoying summer, but also because Luke has had a really, really, really rough last couple of weeks.  That's in tomorrow's post, though.  No need to get ahead of myself.

I should have some cute photos of the boys.  They've been at art camp all week and "the show" is tomorrow.  We are waiting with great expectation to see the creations they've been working on all week.

Until tomorrow!

Poolside

ALG had swim lessons the last couple of weeks and really did a fantastic job.  Last summer it was all nuts, so nobody got swim lessons.  This year, we were blessed to find a great college student, home from Texas Tech, that taught lessons at her home pool.  There was only one other girl in the class, so they were practically one-on-one.  I was so proud of her.

I did have to crack up on several occasions when Ms. Haley would ask ALG to do something and she would start negotiating.  Case in point:

H:  Okay, let's float on our back twice.
ALG:  How about we float once and THEN play the monkey game?

She's a negotiator, that one.  That and a wee bit opinionated and headstrong.  I keep telling myself those are good traits to have as an adult.

Clare and Luke just hung out while she learned the ropes.  Our little ER visit has derailed us some on practicing the skillz.  But she'll be back in the pool in no time.

Way to go pretty girl!

The ER...Really?!?

Yes, really.  Sometimes, instead of crying in that dark corner in the hospital, I find myself laughing hysterically.  I mean, really.  What kind of family does this happen to??  Evidently ours.

I'm starting to think that when I told God I wanted an exciting, fun-filled life, he thought this would be a funny way to fulfill my life plan.  That, and I think it goes with the territory of having a big family.

How did it all happen...buckle your seatbelts and hang on for the ride.

At 8:15 this morning, we loaded up the troops (me in my pajamas, mind you) and took Scott to the airport for a business trip.  We returned home around 9:30 and I put Luke down for a nap while the other four watched a little Dora the Explorer.  Luke decided to NOT take a nap and scream and I contemplated getting him up and calling it a wrap or jumping in the shower.  I chose door #2.  Got the super quick shower and makeup done and was just walking out of the bedroom when I heard ALG let out a blood curdling scream.

Dang it.

My mom instinct knew it was a doozie.  I was getting ready to send one to timeout, one to my bedroom to shake off the tears and then head upstairs to console Luke and see if I could get him back to sleep.  I tried to get the "story" from John Paul. Seems as if ALG was jumping from one couch to the other and JP thought it would be cool to give her a gentle shove with his feet and thus we have back of the head vs. coffee table.  Table won.  I thought I'd just breeze in to the bathroom, give ALG the once over, send John Paul to timeout and head upstairs.  That is, until I saw that the back of her shirt was soaking wet and a blood spot on the floor (hey, at least it was on the icky carpet in the bathroom).  "****" I muttered under my breath.  I checked out her head knowing that head lacerations typically bleed a lot but they may not be ER worthy.  Except this one was.  A good one-inch gash on the back of the head.

I walked into the living room and told the kids to get their shoes on because we were going to the ER.  While I was rounding everyone up, Will immediately bolted into action, marched upstairs, got Luke out of his crib, brought him downstairs and put him in the carseat.  All without being asked.

That kid is amazing. 

With a rag on the back of her head to slow the bleeding and five kids buckled in the van, off we went to the ER.  Hi-ho, hi-ho...

We pulled in the parking lot and I was super relieved to see tons of empty spots.  The waiting room was deserted.  Even if God does have a sense of humor, at least he was compassionate.  They called us right back and spun into action.  4 trips to the bathroom, 35 games of "I Spy," 1 near fall off the patient bed, lots of laughter, 1 quick hug from mom for the brave girl, 2 compliments from the staff about the good kiddo behavior (seriously?!) and 3 staples later we walked out of the ER and headed to Sonic for the obligatory "ER trip" ice cream blast.

What a morning.  Not usually how I like to spend my Sunday mornings.  Silly me thought we might actually make the 11:30AM Mass.  Notsomuch.

In the midst of all that, Scott arrived in Kansas City and turned on his phone to see a text from me giving him the stats on the ER visit.  Poor thing.  We do this to him everytime he gets on a plane.  Sorry sweetheart.

Cheers for our 12th ER visit.  That's just nuts.

Feeling the love

What a truly beautiful and fun weekend.  Friday just rocked it.  Luke had his ECI physical therapy appointment, I tried giving him a nap - he refused - so the girls and I loaded him up in the van and headed south to attend the boys award ceremony at golf camp.

The boys spent most of the week hanging with my dad in South Austin.  It was a much needed break for this momma and some precious time they were able to have with their Papa.  I suspect those are some memories they'll keep forever.

After awards, we headed to the pool.  Yippee!!  There was minimal sibling fighting, lots of water love, some good conversation with my dad, a delicious poolside lunch (and really, doesn't any meal taste better when eaten by a pool?) and then we loaded up and headed home.  The only one that napped was Clare.  Sadly, that's becoming a theme around here.  Scott came home a little early and we loaded up the troops again to enjoy birthday dinner #1.  We decided to give the Melting Pot a try.  As Scott's dad used to say, "We ate there once."  I would definitely go there for dessert, though.  Hey, it wasn't a total loss.  The food was pretty good, the service not bad and the kids loved dipping the food in the fondue.  It was just way more stress than what we bargained for.  Eh.  Live and learn.

Parenthood.  It's a journey.

Saturday morning I enjoyed a pedicure, compliments of the neighborhood girls.  Big shout out to them!  We had our monthly GNO on Tuesday and celebrated all the June birthdays.  It was alot of laughs...especially when the possum broke up the party!  We ate at an Austin fav, Chuy's, on the patio.  Seems as if the possums love it out there too and by the time he started to join the party, we shut 'er down.

Again, Friday night and Saturday were full of no naps, but that's a post for another day.  Luke is giving us fits...again.  But, the day was redeemed when we joined all the fam (aunts, uncles and grandparentals) at Siena.  As in, St. Catherine of.  That is some Italian food that's about as close to Italy as one can get here in the Hill Country.  Local.  Rustic.  Delish.  Our Sicilian waiter was a hoot and called the girls princesses all night.

All in all, one mighty fine weekend.  I'm happy and proud to be 36!

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!

Surely, that's the quote of the week this week!  If you know me at all, you know how much I adore birthdays.  Not super thrilled about getting older, but super happy that God's given me another year to celebrate.  What's not to be happy about there?  We did have some cute quotes worth mentioning...

"Beat it, curl."
Clare, telling the squirrels to 'beat it' and quit eating all the bird food outside.

"Leave it to the professional, guys."
Will, telling all his siblings to step aside while he goes outside to scare the squirrels away.  I'm seeing a theme here.

"I'm not talking to you anymore, Mom.  Actuwee, I'm talking to Will and John Paul and Wuke, just not you and Cware."
I feel the love.  Really, I do.

We do have some fun things planned this weekend - birthday dinners (two!), some pool time, some naptime, some pedicure time, some neighbor time and some family time.  I think that's a recipe for a good time!!  Make it a great weekend.

Top Ten: Sister Love

Yes, I realize it's Thursday, but Top Ten Wednesday was too good not to share this week.  We're saying "until we meet again" to two of the Dominican Sisters - Sr. Maria Gemma (SMG) and Sr. Mary Cecilia (SMC) - and we'll see you in the fall" to Sr. Elizabeth Ann (SEA) and Sr. Thomas Aquinas (STA). 

Because these sisters live in community, they all return to the Mother House at various times throughout the year, but most especially during the summer months when the school year is complete.  They get their new assignments and SMG and SMC won't be coming back to Austin in the fall.  For the record, I'm not happy about it. But, I know they have many more lives to touch. I am so grateful - and that really doesn't capture my thankfulness - they came into our lives.  Sisters, this top ten is for you...

TOP TEN:  THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE SISTERS

1.  Their joy.  It is contagious!  If you're a practicing Catholic, a fallen away one, a Protestant or a Jew, you cannot deny their total joy for their vocation.  When you are in their presence, you can feel the Holy Spirit at work.  It's pretty awesome.

2.  Their habits.  Some nuns wear habits, some don't.  I'm not going to get all theological on you, but just know this.  As a married woman, I would never consider going anywhere without my wedding ring.  It is a visible symbol of my vocation to married life.  The sisters' habits - what they refer to as their 'wedding dress' - is their outward sign.  I like it.  Go big or go home.

3.  Their cooking.  Man, the lasagna, pastries, cookies and banana bread they cook is pretty much second to none.

4.  Their refreshing honesty.  Before I became Catholic, I really thought that nuns were all high and mighty.  A ruler to the knuckles kind of bunch.  Then I met the Dominicans.  They are funny and real and prayerful and holy.  Yes, you can be all four.

5.  Their passion to witness.  Whether it's passing out holy cards and candy to the neighborhood kids on Halloween, kicking a soccer ball with middle schoolers, visiting the sick in the hospital or praying with high schoolers at retreats, the sisters meet people where they are and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.  Shouldn't we all be doing that?

6.  Their prayer life.  I'll admit, the rigorous prayer schedule they keep is work.  I forget what time they get up, but it's early people.  I suspect I'm up at the same hour, but my prayer is usually, "Please God, let this baby fall back asleep."  At any rate, they remind me that we all have a calling to pray, everyone just goes about it in a different way.  As a wise priest once told me about praying, "Pray like a Mom, Kathryn, not like a nun.  Embrace your vocation."  So, while we may have different prayer lives, we pray to the same God asking for many of the same things...patience...wisdom...strength...obedience...

7.  Their charism.  Many orders have various ways in which they minister.  The Dominicans are teachers.  And I would go so far to say they're not just teachers in our Catholic schools (although my boys totally dig seeing them walking the hallways), they are also teachers, by witness, in our community.  And mighty fine ones at that.

8.  Their effect on my children.  All it takes is one, "[Insert child's name here], would you act like that if the sisters were here?"  I'm seriously considering getting a life-size cutout of the four of them and putting them in strategic places throughout the house.

9.  Their love and honor of Mary.  Throughout all of our hospital stays with Luke, we've been blessed with the sisters' presence at some point during his stay.  All h**l would be breaking loose and in they would come.  I would immediately feel peace and a burden lifted.  I have to think that Mary's intercession, her understanding of what it's like to see your child suffer, is conveyed through their presence.  They have renewed my conviction to be a better mother.

10.  Their laughs.  I don't think there is a single picture that exists without them smiling.  In fact, I can't recall a time I haven't seen them smile.  Undoubtedly, they heard God's call to religious life and live it out so beautifully.

So, I sit here with wet eyes, sad at their departure yet happy for the experience of the past year.  Hat tip to Archbishop Aymond for prayerfully extending the invitation for them to come to Austin and to my lovely husband for helping them get some financial footing in the world of development.  Sisters, never doubt how much we love you.  There is no distance between tabernacles, right?

Eight IS Great!

A very happy eighth anniversary to Uncle Cory and Aunt Jennifer.  It's hard to believe eight years zoomed by that quickly.  Here's to many  more years of wedded bliss...

We miss seeing y'all.  Here's hoping we can finally have Christmas in July :)

Bloggers are real people

This Saturday, we had to escape the pressure cooker of Austin, so we journeyed to the other Holyland.  Aggieland.  Can I hear a WHOOP?

We first met up with Anna-Laura's Godfather, Fr. David.  He's the Pastor at St. Mary's, former Vocations Director for the Diocese and a super funny, very faithful man.  Fr. D is the second of twelve.  Awesome.  He has so many funny stories about growing up, I could listen for hours.  And, he's super patient around our kids.  He's like E.F. Hutton.  They always listen to him.  I think one of the sweetest moments of the day was watching Fr. David walk in, seeing ALG light up, scream out his name and run right into his arms.  Fr. D, thanks for joining us for lunch.  You. Are. Awesome.

We surely know plenty of wonderful people in Aggieland, but this trip was all about making connections with people that understood...life.  Um, so technically our families knew each other before the jaunt (the husbands Josh and Scott met first), but initially I just stalked The Simmons Family in cyberspace.  I first learned about their sweet family when Josh asked for prayers for their growing brood.  The doctors detected some challenges with Baby Catherine and she was due shortly after Luke was born.  I fell in love with Elizabeth's honesty and my heart ached for them having to experience the NICU rollercoaster.  When Catherine died unexpectedly at the tender age of 9 days, I realized just how fragile life was...again.  And, just how a woman of faith can endure such pain.  Elizabeth, I just want you to know that your honesty is refreshing and your journey with Catherine has made me a better mom to my own children.  Oh, and Josh, this is for you.  Blue Bell Rocks.  Funny how two little peanuts brought our families together in such a special way.

Our lazy afternoon allowed us to share our challenges, our joys, our fears and, I suspect, there was a lot more shared that was unspoken, too.  There's something to be said for life experience.  Josh, Elizabeth and crew...we are so honored that you allowed us to crash the party and spend some time with your amazing family.

Last day of school!

Wow.  That went by fast.  It sounds cliche to say, "Just last week, I dropped them off for the first day."  Cliche, but true.  I suppose it was partly due to our crazy year that some weeks and months sped by while others chugged along at a snail's pace.  Overall, though, I'm still in shock that I am now the mom of a fourth grader, a first grader and a kindergartener.

In the words of our dear Italian friend, Paolo, "Not possible."

The girls, Luke and I enjoyed some end-of-year parties on Friday.  The big boys were all smiles and stoked about the beginning of summer.  We'll see if Monday brings about the same smiles and joy.  I'm tempted to send them outside with a jug of water and some paper cups, lock the door and tell them I'll come out to fetch them when it's lunchtime.

Will's teacher, Mr. Youngpeter, has been teaching 30 years (wow) and he runs a tight ship.  Will is my structure kid, who thrives on rules and 'doing the right thing.'  He and Mr. Y hit it off like peas and carrots.  We are so thankful for his calm demeanor, his high expectations and his experience.  Will thrived in third grade and made a smooth transition from St. Theresa to his new school.  Thank you Mr. Y!

John Paul's teacher, Mrs. Champion, and his Aide, Mrs. Ball, were such a great team.  They sniffed out mischief, encouraged creative thinking and really prepared him well for first grade.  Even though we're happy/sad that he's moving on, we get to occupy the kindergarten room again next year!

While the girls' last day was a couple of weeks ago, I would be remiss without thanking their teachers as well...Ms. Lisa, Ms. Shelley, Ms. Janice and Ms. Reyna...thanks for being such a special part of our family this year.

Now for some fun stories from the school year.

Will:  He was telling me about the last week of school and how some of the kids were yelling, 'Woo Hoo, it's the last day of school.  Aren't you excited?'  To which I replied, 'Wow, was that in Mr. Youngpeter's class?'  Will's reply, 'Oh no, Mom.  We never act that way in his classroom.'  Proof that kids' behavior is dictated by expectations.  Never be afraid to aim high.

John Paul:  So many to tell, but I'll limit it to two.  Unbeknownst to us, he took one of his older brother's comic books, "Bone," to school.  When we got the note home from his teacher to please leave the book at home, I had a feeling there was more to the story.  Indeed there was.  Seems as if John Paul took the book and began asking to go to the bathroom, when he was taking a little too long, his teacher's found him by his cubby "reading."  No biggie.  They instructed him to put it in his backpack.  We only got the note when he started recruiting his friends to join him.  One by one, they were strategically asking to go to the bathroom and then congregating in the back to read the comic book.  It was when the teacher's realized the convention going on that the note came home.  I suppose the boy does have signs of leadership skills :)

About two months ago, we received a sad face on his "respects self and school property" line in his red take-home folder.  Seems as if the P.E. teacher caught him locking all the bathroom doors from the inside, then crawling out underneath the door.  Stinker.

Anna-Laura:  One of her buddies on the playground didn't have a playmate, so she walked over to her teacher, grabbed A's hand and said, "Want to come play with me?"  Awww.

Clare:  I heard all year from her teachers, the directors and other moms that Clare is just a barrel of monkeys to be around.  Who doesn't love the Clare Bear?

Another year has passed us by.  My kids have gotten older, tested their limits, learned some, forgotten a little, pushed the envelope and gained independence.  It's an honor to be their mom.

Whoa, check that attitude.

Really, that title is more for me than anybody else.

I was WELL on my way to feeling overwhelmed earlier in the week.  Then, I got my dose of "seriously?" and I've checked my attitude at the door, so to speak.  Let me explain.

Earlier this week, I shared the news about ALG undergoing day surgery in a few weeks.  On Tuesday, Luke had a doctor's appointment with the plagio clinic (plagiocephaly, i.e. flat spot on the back of his head) and we learned that he's a borderline candidate for a doc band.  After a quick consult with his neurosurgeon, everyone decided he was a definite candidate and we'll get his measurements on Friday, and a helmet in about two weeks.  Add in the fact that close to zero of my clothes fit, we're still not getting super great rest, the last week of school crazy, too many sibling fights and I just lost it.  Well, not a total meltdown.  But, the slow flowing tears that bunch up in your eyes kind of meltdown.  It just felt like the "one more thing" list was getting longer.  And longer.  Summertime was looking more stressful instead of fun and relaxing.

We stopped by Scott's office on Tuesday after the visit, I gave him a quick hug before he had to head in for a meeting and then I briefly visited with the Dominican Sisters.  They are so kind and give the best hugs.  I am grateful for their presence and their friendship.

Fast forward to Tuesday evening and I get a text from a friend who has a son, same age as Luke with many of the same challenges, and it appeared he had a bowel obstruction.  (He ended up having emergency surgery yesterday afternoon and is currently residing in Dell's PICU).  I went up to the PICU last night to see both of them and I had serious flashbacks to Luke's prior stays.

It's been an emotional and draining last couple of weeks.

But, there were some moments that caused me to give pause this week.  They made me realize - yet again - that God is at work if I'm smart enough to open my eyes and see His presence.  I'm not sure about you, but I have my life plan all scripted out.  Well, maybe not totally scripted out, but I have a pretty good working copy which I've shared with God.  Funny how He just laughs and files it under "You're one crazy lady" in his filing cabinet.  I'm pretty sure I'm in good company in that file drawer.  Raise those hands, people, I know I'm not alone.

There was the meeting with the Physician's Assistant at the Plagio Clinic... 

Larry, whom I've seen at Dell numerous times, walked in and immediately made me feel like Luke was a rockstar.  He even loved on Clare, who was with me, and got her giggling lickety-split.  #1:  It reminded me that just about every one of the pediatric specialists we meet 100% love kids.  Yea for that.  #2:  What he said next, made me stop in my tracks.  We all know that Luke is Superman, right?  Necrotizing enterocolitis, that nasty intestinal infection he got at nine-days-old, is the third ring of hell.  After reviewing Luke's chart and commenting on how alert and attentive Luke was, he busted out with, "Wow, he looks great for a kid that had NEC.  I mean, most of our NEC kids don't look nearly as good as he does.  Well, at least the ones that make it out of the NICU anyway."

Silence.

"...most of the ones that make it out of the NICU..."  When I tell you that it is miraculous that Luke is alive, it is.  Morbidity rate for surgical NEC is 80%.  When I tell you that even though Scott and I are bone tired, we never tire of holding Luke in the middle of the night as he calms himself back to sleep.  When I tell you that Luke's brush with death was as close as one can come, I mean it.  Scott and I stood at his bedside in the NICU on that busy Monday morning, September 28, and I will never, as long as the Earth calls me a resident, forget that feeling of helplessness.  Luke continues to defy the odds.  I have no idea how, but I do know the why.  He has something to share with the world.  And while he relies on us to tell his story for him, I know that when the time is right, he will take over the storytelling for us.

An appeal email from the Mother's Milk Bank...

Dear Barbara,

Did you know? More than 13% of babies born “Native Texans” arrive prematurely and face serious health complications including necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC), a devastating and sometimes fatal intestinal infection.

Research shows that every $1 spent on donor milk for premature infants can yield $11 to $37 in cost savings, because of reduced complications and need for medical treatment. The use of donor human milk instead of formula means the baby goes home sooner with fewer medical issues and lower medical bills and stays healthier.

"...a devastating and sometimes fatal intestinal infection."  I had to re-read that sentence about ten times.  It made me wonder if I will ever not have the flashback of sending Luke off to surgery.  Probably not.

A conversation with our priest...

Scott had coffee and breakfast with our parish priest this week and he shared something with us that he's been holding onto for quite some time.  He was worried about how we might react.  Shortly after Luke's birth, another couple in our parish gave birth to twins.  One survived, one didn't.  The one twin died of NEC.  He was there when the parents received the news and stayed with them the entire day as they held their baby and said their goodbyes.  "One of the hardest days of my life as a priest," he said.  Babies die everyday in the NICU.  It is a harsh reality.  There are days when I have guilt wondering why Luke was allowed to live while another mom mourns.  I don't have the answer, but I find solace and peace in celebrating Luke's life and praying for those parents.  Usually, I offer up those prayers in the wee hours of the morning.  I suspect that's when they might feel most alone.

During our therapy session with ECI...

Luke does have some moderately concerning developmental delays.  But I know that every hour, every day that we spend working with him will allow him to master the milestones and play some catch up.

And, there was the birthday party for a friend...

After introducing myself and the kids (the four older ones were with me), I got the, 'Oh, you're Luke's mom. I read your blog!'  Somebody is always watching, always listening.  Shame on me if all they see is me complaining.  Life is to be celebrated.  We all have our bad days, but overall, make it a glass full kind of life.  At least that's my two-cents worth.

You know, the funny thing in all of this is that I believe ignorance is bliss.  Nobody told me that NEC could be so devastating.  Nobody told me delays were probable.  Nobody said it would be an uphill battle.  We haven't really treated Luke like a china doll, keeping the kids away from him.  We've encouraged him to eat, to roll over, to play.  He's been pushed a little too hard by a sibling, drooled on by a big sister, sung to by a brother, loved on by us.  We've just always loved him and set high goals working hard to get him there.  If someone had told me all of the challenges early on, I might've put limitations on Luke.

Thank the good Lord we didn't.  Because limitations bite.  They strangle the hope.  They cut off the joy.  They stifle the happiness.

Now faith.  Well, that's worth believing.  Just take a look at Luke...

Nuts...and a few prayers

I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be able to catch everyone up on life here at Casa Crazy.

In the meantime, I'd like to ask for some prayers for a special buddy of Luke's, Baby Reece.  He and Luke are the same age and share many things in common (doctors, big families, and lots of surgeries at Dell).  Reece has had an unbelievably difficult 48 hours and needs some big prayers.  When you get a moment today, offer up some prayers for his parents, Dina and Ken, Reece and his three cute brothers.

More tomorrow.  Sorry for all the radio silence :(

Another Surgery!

Yes, you read that correctly.  But Luke isn't the surgery hog this time.  Our sweet Anna-Laura is scheduled for surgery on June 24 to correct her tongue tie (yes, there actually is such a thing).

The technical lingo for the procedure is a lingual frenotomy, the rest of us just call it a tongue clipping.  Now that I type it, it sure sounds Texan, doesn't it?  It's a fairly quick procedure, about 5-10 minutes.  But, she does have to go under anesthesia.  No mom ever wants that for her child.  Especially this momma.  She needs it, though.  The tongue-tie is beginning to really affect her speech development and we'd like to get it corrected before she starts school in August.

So, it's back to Dell we go...well, almost.  We'll be in the building right next to Dell (that's close enough, thankyouverymuch).

Luke had a busy morning, too.  That's a post for Friday when I know more.  It's a busy week.  The boys get out of school on Friday, we're wrapping up ALG's swim lessons and we have about three doctor visits between now and Friday.  Fun, fun!